The lamp was pretty rusty. How old was it? Anyway, it was cheap. Morgan looked at it carefully, tried to negotiate the prize. Always negotiate on a garage sale.
– It comes from my grand-pa, the seller explained, as if it was a good reason not to lower the prize.
Morgan didn’t take it at first, and carried on her shopping; but she felt she was missing something. She went back and bought the copper antique.
Once at home she cleaned the lamp delicately, but the rust resisted. What a shame, this could really be decorative one the piano. But not with this rust. The next day she found a special spray in the hardware store. It was pricey enough to expect it to be efficient.
Efficient, it was. But not the way Morgan would have expected. As soon as she started to rub the lamp with a cloth, she heard a cry:
– What the hell are you doing? a voice asked, as a fairy appeared getting out of the lamp.
Morgan couldn’t believe her eyes. So this was true? genies really could come out of lamps?
The fairy grumped. She brushed herself, looked around, and asked:
– What day are we?
Morgan answered.
– The world hasn’t become any better, has it? the fairy added.
As Morgan was about to say something, the fairy interrupted her:
– It’s none of my business anyway. So? What it the thing you want the most in the world?
– You mean, my three wishes?
– Three? the fairy protested. Why do people always ask for three?
– That’s what they say in the tales, Morgan explained.
– Why are humans stupid enough to believe in tales? Why?
Morgan felt embarrassed. It was not the kind of fairy she had thought of.
– So? What’s your choice? the fairy insisted.
– I don’t know, Morgan said. Maybe…
– There is no maybe. Make up your mind!
But Morgan’s mind was blank. The situation was so incredible. A real fairy! In her living room!
– What kind of things may I ask for? Morgan wondered.
– Whatever. Would you like to fly to the moon? Would you like to have a luxury car? Would you like to meet the charming prince?
The charming prince looked like a nice choice.
– Does he really exist? Morgan asked.
– Of course, the fairy confirmed. So? Are you choosing that?
– But if he doesn’t like me? Morgan worried. I’m not a princess.
– Take a toad, then. A toad which turns into a prince always loves the woman who has kissed it. If she kisses well.
Morgan hesitated. She didn’t know how to kiss a toad.
– How can I learn to kiss a toad?
– I could teach you, the fairy answered. But that would count as a wish. I can only grant one.
– What a pity, Morgan whispered. It would be so practical to have three.
– I’m not a genie, the fairy grumped.
– Do genies really grant three wishes? asked Morgan.
– Yes, in a way, the fairy admitted. But…
– Then I know what I want! Morgan exclaimed. Make a genie come out of the lamp!
– Are you sure? The fairy asked. Beware, because they are very… Well, I can’t tell humans those kind of secrets. If you want a genie, just be careful.
– All right. Please make a genie come out of the lamp.
The fairy took the spray, put some on the cloth, rubbed the lamp. A huge cloud of smoke burst out of it, and a genie appeared.
– Frankly, Eddy, the fairy protested, coughing. Couldn’t you appear with less fuss?
– You know my style, Helen, the genie answered. Hello, madam, the genie said to Morgan. What can I do for you?
– Is it true that you can grant me three wishes? Morgan asked.
– Yes Mam, the genie answered.
– Careful, the fairy warned.
– What? the genie protested. You old witch!
– Don’t you dare! the fairy cried. You stupid fat show off! I’m just warning her.
– Warning her of what? the genie insisted. You ugly hag!
– Please! Morgan said. Could you just behave and be polite?
– OK, the genie said. I’m sorry.
– So, can I say my three wishes? Morgan asked.
– Well, you have only one left, the genie answered.
– Why? I haven’t asked for anything yet! Morgan objected.
– First, the genie explained, you have wished to know if I could grant you three wishes ; that counts for one ; then you have wished that I should behave and be polite ; that counts for two.
– That’s not fair! Megan cried.
– I warned you, the fairy insisted.
– Don’t interfere, the genie protested. You plucked old owl!
– You lazy pig! the fairy cried. They don’t want to work, she explained to Morgan, that’s why they count any question as a wish.
– Did you call me a pig? the genie cried. Beware! I might turn you into one! You vixen!
– You prat! The fairy answered.
On they went, arguing and calling each other names, louder and louder. Finally Morgan shouted:
– Stop it! STOP IT! Oh my god… I wish I had never bought this lamp!
And immediately she cried:
– NO! That’s not what I meant!
But it was too late. The lamp, the fairy and the genie had disappeared.